Season Five: Introduction

I don’t know about you, but as I record this episode at the beginning of 2025, things feel different from any past seasons of Breaking Down Patriarchy. When I launched Season 1 in 2021, President Biden had just beaten Donald Trump in the 2020 election. I was so relieved to never see that man in power again. Also, thanks to the Black Lives Matter movement, more white people than I remember ever before in my lifetime were waking up to the reality of white supremacy and trying to become better allies. And people’s hearts and minds were opening toward LGBTQ people, even within conservative religious communities like the one I come from. I also remember that during Season 1, I aired an episode on the Supreme Court case Roe v. Wade, the actual document, because I wanted people to be familiar with a legal text that I thought was as solid and foundational as the Magna Carta. I could never in a million years have imagined that four years later, Donald Trump would be on his way back to the White House, having beaten such a qualified and dignified opponent, the candidate I believed would be our first woman president. In 2021, I couldn’t have fathomed a bill called Don’t Say Gay. I could not have predicted that the values of diversity, equity, and inclusion could possibly be seen negatively, let alone mocked in conversation and banned from schools. And the overturn of Roe v. Wade? Unthinkable. 

But, here we are. I know a lot of people are feeling really discouraged right now, wondering if all the phone calls to senators, “get out the vote” efforts, difficult conversations with grandparents, and protests and donations were even worth it. And you know what? These are the right questions to ask. Maybe some of our activism actually wasn’t that effective. I think it’s important to pause and reassess and remember what our values are and what our goals are, and then develop a strategy based on those values and goals. That will look different for different people, but I’ll tell you mine. Some of my values: egalitarianism, fairness, courage, compassion. My goals: to break down patriarchy, white supremacy, homophobia, and all other unjust systems within society’s institutions, within our communities, our families, our partnerships, and within our own minds.

This might sound cliche, but bear with me and really let it sink in like you’ve never heard it before: This year, I am going to try to have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. This Serenity Prayer comes from 12 Step Programs and other recovery settings. And I know its cliche, but I am telling you, it is exactly what I need right now. There is so much that I cannot change. I cannot force change on strangers on the internet. I can’t force change on the people in my own community. I have no control over the behavior of presidents of countries or the leadership of churches. At the end of the day, I really can’t control the behavior of anyone except myself. And I certainly will never change the heart, mind, or behavior of anyone by walking around feeling angry all the time, or arguing in a comments section on social media. But, there is so much that I do have control over and that I can change. 

In my political life, I can vote – thank you, feminist foremothers! – and I can get involved with causes I believe in, especially local causes, in between elections. In my religious life, I can speak up for my beliefs in my community of worship. Even when I feel alone, I can get up to speed on what work has already been done in my faith tradition and I can share that work with others, especially people with decision-making power. In my family life, I can identify any belief or practice from my childhood that was unjust or harmful and then I can decide right now that I will not take that a generation further, but will instead create something new for the future. In my work life, in my school life, at the gym, at the bank, at the store, I can stand up for what I believe in. And I can do so with firmness, but also with love and respect, communicating with others in the way that I want other people to communicate with me. So, that’s my plan, and that is the theme of Season 5 of Breaking Down Patriarchy: having the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 

This season I will be talking with incredible guests who will give you all kinds of ideas of things you can do right now to deconstruct patriarchy in your own life and to make a positive difference in your community. You’ll be educated, you’ll be inspired, and, my friends, one big reason that I continue to invest my very soul and life force into this project is to provide you with episodes that you can share with other people in your life. If you have a frustrating conversation with a boss or a brother, or you don’t know how to explain your feelings to your pastor, scroll through the list of podcast episodes. Go to YouTube, to youtube.com/@breakingdownpatriarchy. Check out our social media accounts on TikTok. We’re @bdownpatriarchy. You will find so many resources to open conversations and break down barriers. This is the grassroots work that changes hearts and minds. 

And to kick off this season of courage and action in the face of challenges, I can think of no better book to discuss than The Small and the Mighty: Twelve Unsung Americans Who Changed the Course of History, from the Founding to the Civil Rights Movement by Sharon McMahon. And I can think of no one better to discuss this book with than its author, one of my heroes, Sharon McMahon herself. You will not want to miss this episode, and you will love this season. So join us next time, and all year long, on Breaking Down Patriarchy.

Listen to the Introduction

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